my wife's torment and the love we share!
part 1
Published on September 17, 2006 By mygabie In Dating
I met my wife, 26 years ago, in a coffee house run by a priest, Father Joe.The coffee house’s main purpose was to give ex-physcriatic patients, a place they could go to mingle and socialise, without having the fear of being rejected, or looked down on, by the so-called “normal people.”

I was there talking to Sister Marcella, when Gabriella walked in, she looked so beautiful that I wondered how in the world could I ever get up the nerve, to go over and introduce myself.

To my surprise and delight she approached me and asked, if she could join me. Well of course I said yes and offered to buy her a coffee. Right from the start it was quite apparent that Gabriella was under some sort of stress, she seemed to be shaking.

Well we talked most of that day and exchanged phone numbers. She phoned
me the next day and again we decided to meet for coffee at Our Place the name of the coffeehouse we had met the day before. This turned into a our
regular meeting place.

The staff at Our Place tried to stop our mingling too much because of my own anti-social problems. They felt that if I only mingled with Gabriella, it wasn’t helping my problem, but at that point I didn’t care.

So Gabriella and I worked out a signal, that we would catch each others eye
then one or the other would leave and after about ten minutes. the other would follow. It worked perfectly, I don’t think that they ever caught on.

This went on for quite awhile, we so enjoyed being with each other, that it was only natual, that we fell in love. As we grew closer and closer though, I realized that Gabriella had issues and mentle promlems. I wanted to help her if I could.

She told me that she was in the process of getting a divorce from a man who was both unfaithful and abusive. Maybe that’s what triggered her schizophrenia, I don’t know. What I did know was whatever stormy weather, lays ahead for us that our love would somehow sustain us through.

I moved out of my parent’s apartment about six months into our relationship
mainly because I was asked to and also because I wanted to live, closer to Gabriella.But living down town in a big can be very scarey. (drunks, prostitutes, fighting, etc…)

As long as I was living close to Gabriella I didn’t care where I lived. She lived in a very nice suite at the Y.W.C.A., for women only. I lived in a run down boarding house full of alcoholics that scared me, just by looking at them. Ralph for instance, who had the next room and was about sixty-five, was one of the meanest man that I have ever met. But you see where I
lived to me wasn’t all that important.

We were I guess a year into our relationship, when in the wee hours of the morning I was awakened, by the screaming and the banging on of doors.
I soon reckonised it was Gabriella and scrambled to get dressed, really not knowing what was happening.

She was very distraught, to say the least and as I held her she was sobbing
and trembling, she was having a breackdown. This was the first full fledged breakdown she had in the year we were together so I really wasn’t prepared.

The taxi was still waiting in front, so without hesitation I asked the driver to take us to the nearest hospital. She was still crying as we arrived at the hospital, with her head on my shoulder, I was cradling her in my arms with tears welled up in my eyes.

The doctor, in the emergency dept. sent for the phycriatrist right away, but noone came for about a hour and a half. When the doctor finally did come to see Gabriella it didn’t take long for the doctor to order her be transferred to the mentle hospital.

It was a horrible feeling, for myself and very scarey for Gabriella as we waited still cradling her in my arms for the admitting doctor to have her asssessed.

We only waited for a hour this time, at this I was somewhat relieved, finally Gabriella will get some help I thought. Well the doctor as well as the nurse
decided to admit her to the hospital and had us wait, till someone from what they called the crisis unit, came and got her.

Thankfully they let me wait with her, as she after knowing she was being admitted started to fret even more.Well it didn’t take long for an attendant to
come and get Gabriella and we walked back together along a dark long drafty hall to the crisis unit.

It was at this point the attendant said, that this was as far as I could go, that I had to leave. I will never forget the look of terror on Gabriella’s face as she
clutched me sobbing, please don’t leave me.My heart was broken at this point, and I was still trying to hold back my tears.

The attendant pushed Gabriella inside the unit and the door automatically locked. By this time I know longer could hold back my tears as I seen her lovely face pressed up against the little window on the door. I could here her screams and banging all the way down the hall.

It was about 4:30 am.and the streets were still vacant it was also cold out you see, it was winter. I had a very long walk ahead of me and a tear must have dropped with every step I took By the time I got home, it was daylight,
time to get alittle shut eye then back to the hospital to be with Gabriella.











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Comments
on Sep 17, 2006
That is a very unique and beautiful love story. Thanks for sharing.
on Sep 22, 2006

It was at this point the attendant said, that this was as far as I could go, that I had to leave. I will never forget the look of terror on Gabriella’s face as she <BR>clutched me sobbing, please don’t leave me.My heart was broken at this point, and I was still trying to hold back my tears.<BR><BR>The attendant pushed Gabriella inside the unit and the door automatically locked. By this time I know longer could hold back my tears as I seen her lovely face pressed up against the little window on the door. I could here her screams and banging all the way down the hall.<BR><BR>It was about 4:30 am.and the streets were still vacant it was also cold out you see, it was winter. I had a very long walk ahead of me and a tear must have dropped with every step I took By the time I got home, it was daylight

i have some idea of just horrible this was for both of you.  in our case, a young doctor asked her about 8 questions--all of which i would eventually hear asked so many times i'm able to do a fairly competent initial evaluation by rote--but the answers came very slowly.  so slowly, in fact, the answers weren't properly synched to the questions.  which is why the doctor incorrectly believed the answer to 'do you want to hurt yourself or anyone else" was 'yes' even tho the 'yes' was a response to a couple questions asked prior to that one.

by law, the doctor was required impose a 72-hour hold but she didn't tell us that then.  she recommended voluntary admission but said it was our decision.  we wanted to go have a smoke and walked up to the station to let them know we'd be right back. 

that's when the supervisor told us she couldn't leave.  when i told him the doctor said it was to be our decision, he told me that was no longer the case.  when i asked if there was someone else to whom i could speak, he told me if i interfered he'd have me arrested.

at this point, several deputies brought a hysterical screaming woman into the room and proceeded to help the staff strap her to a gurney.  they then gave her an injection and rolled her away.

the supervisor told me i needed to take her into a smaller room with very thick glass panels...and then walk out and leave her there.  i said i didn't know if i could do that.  he told me i'd just seen what would happen if she didn't go quietly.

i held her hand and we walked into the room.  there was very thin older woman laying on a padded bench (i hadn't been able to see her at first).  i just stood there and held her hand very tightly.  the supervisor was motioning me to walk out and was clearly running out of patience.  by now she sensed something was wrong (altho i'm not sure how because she had been so disconnected the entire day) she started asking me what we were doing.   the supervisor opened the door and asked if i wanted to be arrested.

i kissed her forehead, unable to look into her eyes.  i turned and walked out.

the door lock clicked incredibly loudly. 

i took two steps and heard her pounding on the glass.  i turned around and was frozen in place by the anquish in her eyes and the terror that had taken over her face.  i couldn't hear her but i knew she was yelling at me...begging me not to leave her there...to come back and get her. 

i began to cry while the supervisor grabbed my arm and pushed me toward the door.  he told me not to return until i'd spoken to the nurse in the locked ward by phone and been given permission to visit.

my memory of the next couple hours is blurred.  i remember crying uncontrollably as i walked outta the hospital.  it took me a while to find the car; i was wandering pretty much blindly thru the parking lot until i wound up next to it.  i ahouldn't have been driving because i was literally unable to see clearly.  my glasses were fogged so i took them off.  i'm legally blind without lenses but i couldnt see thru them anyway.

somehow i managed to blindly drive home, all the while sobbing so  violently i could barely get enuff breath into my lungs. i parked the car but didn't get out.  i sat there unable to do much more than keep myself from being crushed as sets of huge dark waves crashed down on me.

i gradually began to regain some control and after about 20 minutes i was able to get outta the car, walk into the building and up the stairs.  i let myself in to our apartment, closed the door and just stood there. i was trying to determine what i should do next when i saw a lil scrap of paper on which she'd scrawled a cartoonish drawing hours earlier.  it was just a sorta blob. 

she'd drawn it after i'd spent about a half hour that morning begging her to tell me what was wrong.  she'd picked up a pen and made the drawing, written something and handed me the paper. 

it was yellow and about the size of a post-it note...altho it wasn't.  under the drawing she'd written 'a spooky ghost'.

just seeing the paper was all it took to completely undo me.  i began bawling again...even harder than before (altho that doesn't seem possible looking back...but it was).  i made it to the bed and collapsed, unable to do anything more than cry. 

hours later i woke up in a totally dark room.  for a few moments i had no idea where i was or how i'd arrived there.  when i realized i was in our bed, i reached out to find her but, of course, she wasn't there.

i was so drained it took me a long while...maybe an hour before i was finally able to pull myself over and turn on the lamp.  about ten minutes later i found the locked ward nursing station number and dialed it.

they told me they weren't sure where she'd be held until 9 the next morning (it was about 11pm i think) and to call back then.  i turned the light off and just laid there hoping i was still asleep and when i woke up i'd be so happy it had all been just a horrible nightmare.

without question that was the worst day of my life.

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