My name is Ron and I have been married to my very special wife for almost 24 years. Her name is Gabriella and she is a schizophenic very paranoid and often illusional.Like I said we have been married going on 24 years and although I love her very much it hasn’t always been easy.
It was very difficult to see my wife for instance after her shock treatment sessions, how she totally acted like she was a zombie, it was very, very disturbing, to say the least. She was also very suicidal and Lord knows how I prayed and fought the devil himself, to set her free from wanting to take her life
Gabriella, has been in and out many hospitals and has been I guess, on just about every combination of medication, that you could think of, but she at this stage seems to be getting worse. Although we lived through a lot of peaks and valleys the thing that kept us both going was the love, that we share for each other and obviously still do.
I looked after Gabriella, at home when she wasn’t in the hospital but we needed a visiting cota worker to come in at least once a week, to check to see if we were all right. My wife also was lucky to have a very good doctor that she would see on a regular monthly basis; I accompanied her too all her doctor appointments.
It started to get increasingly harder and harder to look after Gabriella in the home, mainly due to the fact that her medication, was now know longer that effective and she was becoming more and more illusional. The doctor decided to call a meeting to see if they could come up with a better plan on how to help Gabriella, as well and just as importantly, help me better cope with Gabriella’s ever changing illness .
The meeting team consisted of the doctor as well as the social worker, the visiting cota worker, and of course Gabriella and myself. She became very aggitated , so the doctor directed her to leave until she calmed down.
The main topic of discussion was that Gabriella should possibly be placed outside the home such as halfway house, nursing home, etc… This idea did not appeal to me at all at first, but deep down though I knew it might be the best solution open to me concerning my wifes care, after all it is what's best for Gabriella is the most important .
In August of 1999 I developed heart problems and needed to go the hospital for 10 days and Gabriella had to stay home alone. Her sister and husband went to check in on Gabriella and found her in such a deplorable condition, that they immediately called her cota worker, who in turn called her doctor, which had her admitted to hospital, until I was released.
When I got outnof the hospital I started to think that maybe Gabriella would be better off in a place that could look after her more professionally, especially if anything should happen to me again. The question then became where? I certainly didn’t want her to go into a mental hospital for any extended period of time .
Well Gabriella was in the hospital the social worker found her a place in a nursing home, that was not far from where i was living, so I went on a tour of the facility.The nursing home seemed very pleasant and the tour guide was also very encouraging. Well her application was accepted and shortly there after was transferred from the hospital to the nursing home
She was placed in this facility seven years ago (1999) and she still resides there today. Gabriella was only 50-51 years old when she was admitted there amongst people whom of course are alot more older then herself .
Although she is seen by the doctors and the social workers in the nursing home she has never ajusted to being in a nursing home and to be quite honest, I really can't blame her. I did visit her every day at first but the staff decided that visiting her every other day would be better, considering her behavour seemed to be getting worse with me, there every day .
I love Gabriella so, so much that when I see her sit with her hands on the radiator in her room, thinking that she is getting messages, breaks my heart as well as frustrates me. I cry alot now for my very loving wife not only because she is there but also because she is so very unhappy, I can’t bear it much longer .
I try to take my wife home for weekends but she does not sleep, when shes home, she only want to sit by the window and smoke cigarettes all night.The other thing is because of my financial situation, I can’t afford to bring her home every weekend anyway .
Finally I would just like to say that when my wife smiles, my world for that instant stands still, she is truly an angel !